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Introduction to Emotional Intelligence – Part III (#3 in the series Introduction to Emotional Intelligence)
By Phil de Kock

In the previous article I outlined some of the important skills of the emotionally intelligent person. The first one of these is self awareness.

This is an important aspect that does not only help in growing as an individual but also eliminate behaviors that could be detrimental to the establishment of healthy relationships. The question is however what are the aspects that one should look out for to grow your self awareness? What follows are a few directives:

  • What is the gap between your current and ideal self? Consider where you are in terms of your physical, emotional, spiritual, and relationship development and where you want to be. If there is a small/narrow gap one could become stagnant – In a rut – something that could lead to frustration;
  • If the gap is however too large it could make you despondent and lead to negative coping behavior, and a poor self image;
  • The ideal is a gap that enables you to strive with excitement and energy, thereby enabling positive growth and self fulfillment
  • Always work on your self image, as it is the one factor that could lead to experiencing the world unrealistically and reinforce negative emotions and behavior;
  • Always be aware of the trigger events for extreme and negative emotions, such as anger, anxiety, stress etc. Over time find the underlying causes of these and try to eliminate it through therapy, hypnosis and self management (such as meditation)

When we dare to be really quiet we can come very close to our selves and the worlds innermost being. – James Carroll

Phil de Kock is an organization and management consultant with a career span of more than 20 years in several disciplines, including finance and admin, quality, project management as well as human and organization development.

He consulted to various companies, including Namdeb (De Beers Namibia), Deb Marine, Anglo Base Metals (Skorpion Zinc) as well as public sector organization such as the Health Professions and Ekurhuleni Metropolitan Council. His most recent work include lecturing on project management, leadership and Human Resources Management at the institutions that include the Centre for Learning, Training and Development (WITS University), Varsity College (ADVTECH Group Ltd) and Global Business School.

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