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Why I Hate SCRUM Daily Stand-up Meetings
By Anonymous

I’ve been doing SCRUM stand-up meetings for 2 years before switching to a pre-sales role, and I’m going to tell you why I hated this.

Disclaimer: please keep your “you don’t understand what SCRUM is” comments for yourself. I understand the concept behind SCRUM daily stand-up meetings: it’s just that I don’t like them and I think that there are other ways to achieve the same results (it’s called “common sense”).

Let’s all happily meet in the morning ! (late people will be crucified)

First, the meeting is supposed to begin every morning at the same time. Why in the morning? Because “it helps set the context for the coming day’s work“. The issue is that developers – in France anyway – don’t like being told when to arrive in the morning: you arrive early, you leave early, you arrive late, you leave late !

But not anymore: with the SCRUM daily meetings, everyone needs to arrive more or less at the same time every morning (talk about freedom !). And if you arrive too early, you just wait for everyone while checking your favorite websites.Why? Because it takes a while for you to get “in the zone” … and you don’t want to be interrupted during that time right?
Did you clean your room honey?

Then, let’s talk about the famous 3 questions: “What did I do yesterday? What will I do today? Do I have any impediments?“

Sounds like what my mum was asking me when I was 5 years old. “Well, yesterday at school, I learned how to write my name. And today, I’m going to do some painting… but it’s hard: can you help me mommy?“.

On top of this, the need to setup a meeting to learn what my colleagues are working on feels so wrong to me. As the member of a team, I happen to know what people are working on just by talking to them during coffee/lunch breaks. Also, reading SVN commits comments is a great way to keep an eye on what people are doing.
Join up, they said! It’s a man’s life, they said!

Finally, I’ve always liked testing new software components. This is a way for me to learn new stuff, which is always exciting… and it keeps me motivated.

The problem with the daily meetings is that you cannot say things like: “well, yesterday I finished working on the billing component and today I’m going to spend a couple hours studying this new PDF rendering library because it looks very cool, even if this is something that has nothing to do with the backlog“.

So why don’t I like standup meetings?

  • because I don’t want to be told exactly when to arrive in the morning.
  • because I don’t want to wait for everyone to arrive before being able to really start coding.
  • because I don’t need a daily meeting to know who is working on what (I’m a social guy and I use coffee breaks and lunches to talk about that !)
  • because I don’t need to scream for help: I know who can help me if I’m stuck.
  • because I’m big boy !

The name of the author is withheld, as it is his wish to be anonymous.

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